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i always get emotional when viewing people's blog
all my hidden feelings were out.
FOR THE NWSP PROJECT THAT SOME OF MY FRIENDS ARE HAVING NOW,
i can really see the hard work that they put in
staying in school till the moon is out almost everyday
there's joy and laughter, of course
the process is really fun, working with nice team mates
everyone encouraging everyone to hang on there and dont give up
and germany is waiting for them.
FOR THE SYF COMPETITION THAT IS FINALLY OVER,
all the results are out
there's joy and sadness in all our hearts; the participants' heart
everything is over now
i had alot things to say,
but i just have the difficulty in expressing out
just keep the spirits high, people
we'll acheive better next time
my 1st and last syf for fuhua, i had put in my best.
FOR THE MID-YEAR EXAMINATIONS THAT IS APPROACHING,
i can see strugglings here and there
most of the friends around me are working really hard
i read a compre yesterday
the compre mentioned,
“ 假若你在书的本身没有找到乐趣，根本就不够资格谈读书。
你为考试或文凭而读书吗？考试以后，文凭到了手后，你将怎么办？”
when i saw this 2 sentence,
i repeatedly read it for alot of times
it really made sense.
it made me think..
am i finding joy in studying?
no, im struggling very hard.. struggling for nothing, i realised.
i tried very hard for my maths, for my chem, for my physics.
why am i struggling?
i broke down when i study, when i do my homework.
why am i so stressed?
what is it for?
anyone tell me the answer?
for my future?
what's my future?
what will i become next time?
anyone knows?
maybe i will die the next day
no one can predict the future
when i really close my eyes and say goodbye to this world,
what had i enjoyed?
what had i acheived?
even if next time i get a good job,
is it really what i want?
i had seen alot of people, they're just working for money
there're no passion involved.
will i be one of them next time?
then im no difference as a robot, isnt it?
im just studying for the sake of it, working just to keep myself alive.
at this point of time, im shedding tears.
why am i shedding tears?
why?
people said i should just accept what is given to me and stop asking why
should i?
i dont know, and i dont want to.
i seen everyone working hard.
for the teachers who are rushing the syllabus now,
why do you want the students to do well?
is it purely sincere that their own sake?
or for yours?
明争暗斗。
在斗什么？
为什么要斗？
我累了，我不不想斗了，我想退出这场斗争。。
但我能吗？
不， 我永远都不能退出，就算我不愿意， 我还是得继续。。一直到我死的那一刻。
人生，就是那么的无奈。
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