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'Always remember, child,' her first teacher had impressed on her, 'that to think bad thoughts is really the easiest thing in the world. If you leave your mind to itself it will spiral you down into ever-increasing unhappiness. To think good thoughts, however, requires effort. This is one of the things that need disipline –training- is about. So train your mind to dwell on sweet perfumes, the touch of this silk, tender raindrops against the shoji, the curve of the flower arrangement, the tranquillity of dawn. Then, at length, you won't have to make such a great effort and you will be of value to yourself.'
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It has been ages since I last posted.. 6 months to be exact.
I guessed I have lost touch with writing so much that I no longer feel comfortable doing it anymore..
I can still recall that I was feeling pretty confident and happy last year during this period.
I took off my spectacles, put on contact lenses, changed to a feminine hairstyle and had new fashion sense.
I was thinking positively about my own life, feeling confident about my own appearance and even had a sixth sense that my first BGR is on the way.
And I was right~
It has been 8 months down the road and life was in fact, far from a bed of roses from then till now.
Love is indeed a bittersweet thing to have and the lack of prior experience to deal with it does not help anything at all.
It is really amazing how time changes people.
Just 5 or 6 years back, I saw you as an immature young guy who is constantly playing a fool and you saw me as a girl who is beautiful and deep.
Fast forward, you have become an ambitious man with great aspirations now and I am just the most ordinary Life Sciences girl.
Nevertheless, I never believe that anything in life happens as a mistake and I really appreciate the adventure that you have given me.
Thanks for being my mirror
No one has ever allowed me to see myself so clearly. Through your eyes, I had a taste of my own character and personality. You have taught me about the power of my words and actions so strictly but you always didn't forget to offer me your shoulder to cry on after that. You hard-heartedly made me fall, but you have repeatedly convinced me that it's okay because I will stand up even stronger with you around me. I will never forget how you softly whisper "It's okay" in my ears and gently pushed me into your warm embrace.
Thanks for giving me space and encouragement to explore myself
You always see something more in me. You understand how timid and dependable I get sometimes but you remains to stay indifferent, forcing me to step out of my comfort zone by myself. You just know that I can do it. And you know that I know that as well. Thanks for allowing me to learn that the courage is there and I just got to go and pick it up without any help. You also taught me to be comfortable alone because it is part of truly loving myself. My friends lament about how I always disappear because I am busy with dating, but they never know that I am actually spending a lot of time alone in my own little world.
Thanks for being my Grammar teacher
I think this is the funniest point. I always hated learning Grammar(or English) as a child so I got really sucky Grammar and sentence structure till now(as you may have noticed as you are reading this post). While others may feel embarrassed to correct me, you just say it straight in my face and sometimes even laugh at it. Whenever it happens, I simply roll my eyes at your directness but make conscious effort to remind myself not to make the same grammatical error again. I think we can both agree that I did made some progress throughout the past 8 months?
Thanks for training up my patience
You are not being nice to me 70% of the time, let's admit that. But of course, we all know that you are joking most of those times. I get angry a lot because I feel that you have carried your jokes too far (Our quarrels usually stem from there). I can't remember how much fights we had over the past 8 months as there is countless. We always quarrel about the same old things but if something did improved through these fights, I guessed it's our patience.
Thanks for turning me into a more positive person
You're definitely not the most positive person around. But you can certainly deal with negativity better than me in your own ways(e.g. sleeping). You're really good in your logic(hence, I definitely believe that you're be good in law as well). I really appreciate how you are able to analyse my situation so thoroughly for me whenever I rant to you about my problems. You suddenly made things look so clear to me so that I can look at them again without an emotional bias. You are a "do" person, and I will always remember how you used to tell me to stop looking for the right time to start work because any moment is a good moment to do that. If I am a sunflower, you are my sunshine.
Thank you for being my man
I really love hugging you. Your embrace is the best place for me to seek comfort. Most of the time, I like to act like a little kid so that you can shower care and love on me. I love how you always try to act "man" in situations when you are in fact a little scared as well. My wish remains - to be your little girl, always.
Maybe you will never see this post that I have dedicated to you. Maybe we are going to split today, or tomorrow, or soon. There's too many problems to deal with and too much obstacles ahead. It's a test. Let's see how far love can take us, dear<3 font="" nbsp="">
I will never get sick of saying "I love you".
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