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Wednesday, February 23, 2011
my civics tutor said, " once you're here, dont think of another path anymore. dont tell yourself that you should have gone into a poly or you should have chosen something else. just focus on what you have now and do well. do your best, do really well and continue with your life."
there're indeed a lot of times that i start to ponder what will happen if i had chosen a poly path.
i will start thinking if life will be as "bad" as now if i were in a poly.
and a lot of times, i will doubt myself for choosing this particular path.
i actually felt uneasy when i was going to buy the uniforms.
im afraid i'll regret, im afraid i'll say i want poly at the last minute.
i keep giving myself a false impression that i can turn back whenever i want.
i'll even feel uneasy just by looking at the word "nanyang junior college" that's printed on worksheets and notes.
because all these while, i had nearly confirmed that i'll be seeing "ngee ann polytechnic" instead.
but when i start settling down, start wearing the uniform everyday and familiarising myself with the faces in school, i had gradually realised that there's no turning back anymore..
that im going to spend my next 2 years here(provided that i dont get retained)
i dont know about other schools, but nanyang usually scare their students with harsh facts and reality 1st.
for instance, i have a nice principal but he'll retain you as long as he thinks you should be. that means no allowance.
that's why ny have a longer list of retainees than some other jcs
that's good luh, rather than staying in your lalaland and getting retained in the end.
work hard.
work hard.
(although im still in some of the holiday slacking mood even till now:S)
做人要往前看，但那不代表你得遗忘过去。
把过去当作教训，当作学习，再次出发。
切忌耿耿于怀..
saw this when i was researching for my gp
thought it's interesting
makes you think actually.
yes, we have to admit that we're weaker.
Monday, February 21, 2011
i love her seriously<3it's difficult not to smile and become cheery whenever i see her, even if im in 1 of the worst mood at that time.she just simply gives a very sunny and positive image.and im sure many ppl who knows her will agree with me.like even if the sky is going to fall the very next moment, she'll still be a happy girl(:i'll always miss the times when i used to send her a depressing sms saying that im feeling lousy at that moment, and the next moment when her reply comes in, i'll immediately break into a smile. i just love to depend on her, and i am 100% sure that she's a loyal buddy that i can always depend on whenever i need to.even though im still skeptical on the "best friends forever" theory,but if possible, i want us to stay like that forever.can we?
i realised that blogs should be selectively read.i found out that reading some ppl's blog will make my mood drop dramastically all of a sudden,while some other ppl's blog makes me hopeful and remained cheery after reading it.for instant, i think my blog shouldnt be 1 that you should be reading.cause i usually come here to rant and rant and rant.to release my inner feelings that i usually do not express it out.i like the feeling of blogging and i want to keep it personally, or maybe, only to share it with certain close friends.i think only they will bother to come.at least i know some who used to read my blog on a frequent basis.
i dont know if they do it now.
i dont think so actually:Xnevermind, i dont mind keeping it this way.dear blog, even if nobody bothers to come anymore, i wont ignore you(:
oh anyway, fyi, i myself is a frequent reader and visitor of certain blogs.so if you're 1 blogger who thinks nobody is reading what you're writing, maybe you're wrong.afterall im not those type of ppl who'll leave a comment at the tagboard everytime i visit blogs.
okay, time to start my PI:Sim pretty surprised that some people actually are done with it when i havent even started brainstorming on what to do yet:X
Thursday, February 17, 2011
think.
let me quote something from the handbook..
"Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.-Swedish Proverb"
exactly.
it's friday again tmr:D
im so excited in meeting my old buddies again over the weekend(:
Monday, February 14, 2011
whenever i see this photo now, i'll feel like crying.
i want to be like the girl.
just hide in the blanket, in her comfort zone.
totally hate this fact that everyone will be forced to grow up eventually.
kay, im still trying to adapt to the new school.
i shall not use the word struggling beause i feel the situation now is better than when i 1st entered fuhua
but im still trying to make myself comfortable with the environment, the system, and the people.
whenever im stucked in this kind of situation, i'll yearn for the past.
unrealistic idea yeah? i cant help but to do that.
today, i walked the same path home.
平时，眼开，心没开。
今天，眼开，心也开了。
i saw that old me standing at that particular spot every morning.
i saw jiesi walking down the side of the carpark to meet me, her brother tagging along behind.
then we walked to school together.
i saw that motorcycle parking lot.
where my neighbour would always park his motorcycle there.
and sometimes when i come out of the lift, i would see him standing there beside his motorcycle, preparing to go to work.
i saw that seat at the void deck.
where my mum and i used to be sitting there, waiting for my dad while she browse through the letters that we had just received.
i still remember that picture, that atmosphere, that kind of contentment i have at that time and the peacefulness.
it's all gone.
it has been 4 years since i graduated from primary school.
since i stopped waiting at that particular spot.
my neighbour had recently passed away.
and that motorcycle is gone too.
i'll never see them again.
it has been very long since i did that with my mum.
i dont know when'll be the next time.
or shall i wonder, will there be a next time?
i know what im writing here is a bit too heavy.
but as what my cousin had told me earlier,
the feeling of nostalgia is back.
i miss the people who once brought smiles and laughter and warmth to me.
you all make me feel like im worth living.
thank you.
to a lot of people, i would just like to say,
有你真好。
kay, time to wrap out all the feelings.
back to the lecture notes and tutorials.
that's all that revolves around me everyday now.
i dont know if i can make it.
i hope i can.
i pray that i can.
i'll try.
oh yeah, happy valentines(: