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Monday, February 14, 2011
whenever i see this photo now, i'll feel like crying.
i want to be like the girl.
just hide in the blanket, in her comfort zone.
totally hate this fact that everyone will be forced to grow up eventually.
kay, im still trying to adapt to the new school.
i shall not use the word struggling beause i feel the situation now is better than when i 1st entered fuhua
but im still trying to make myself comfortable with the environment, the system, and the people.
whenever im stucked in this kind of situation, i'll yearn for the past.
unrealistic idea yeah? i cant help but to do that.
today, i walked the same path home.
平时，眼开，心没开。
今天，眼开，心也开了。
i saw that old me standing at that particular spot every morning.
i saw jiesi walking down the side of the carpark to meet me, her brother tagging along behind.
then we walked to school together.
i saw that motorcycle parking lot.
where my neighbour would always park his motorcycle there.
and sometimes when i come out of the lift, i would see him standing there beside his motorcycle, preparing to go to work.
i saw that seat at the void deck.
where my mum and i used to be sitting there, waiting for my dad while she browse through the letters that we had just received.
i still remember that picture, that atmosphere, that kind of contentment i have at that time and the peacefulness.
it's all gone.
it has been 4 years since i graduated from primary school.
since i stopped waiting at that particular spot.
my neighbour had recently passed away.
and that motorcycle is gone too.
i'll never see them again.
it has been very long since i did that with my mum.
i dont know when'll be the next time.
or shall i wonder, will there be a next time?
i know what im writing here is a bit too heavy.
but as what my cousin had told me earlier,
the feeling of nostalgia is back.
i miss the people who once brought smiles and laughter and warmth to me.
you all make me feel like im worth living.
thank you.
to a lot of people, i would just like to say,
有你真好。
kay, time to wrap out all the feelings.
back to the lecture notes and tutorials.
that's all that revolves around me everyday now.
i dont know if i can make it.
i hope i can.
i pray that i can.
i'll try.
oh yeah, happy valentines(: